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Collingwood Priceless 2003 [Powerpoint Slide Show]
Victorian Water Restrictions No Longer in Force
Melbourne water is very pleased to announce that Melbourne water supplies are at full capacity due mainly to Saturdays late afternoon down pour.
This started late in the the fourth quarter at the MCG when all Collingwood fans began to cry as there Mighty Magpies were thumped by Brisbane Lions in the Grand final.
Melbourne Water has proposed concessions to all Collingwood Football staff and fans that if they can continue to produce this amount of water every September that they will give a 50% reduction in there water usage bill.
Collingwood President Eddie McGuire has welcomed the idea of a concession and said that "We'll fight hard, train hard, recruit hard and we will come back next year and produce a better performance - don't worry about that."
New Young Recruit
Michael Malthouse the coach of Collingwood gets wind of a potential new young recruit who lives in Iraq. Malthouse and the Magpie Recruiting Manager catch a plane to war torn Baghdad and track the young boy down.
They risk life and limb dodging bombs, bullets and grenades but finally find him and convince him to come to Australia. The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the seniors for the first game of the year.
| "He kicks 9 goals, takes mark of the year, and kicks the winning goal after the siren from outside 50." |
Ten minutes into the first quarter, Chris Tarrant goes down with a severe knee injury. Malthouse turns to the boy and says "This is it son, go to centre half forward and show us what you can do."
The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in AFL history. He kicks 9 goals, takes mark of the year, and kicks the winning goal after the siren from outside 50.
The Pies chair him off the ground and give him three cheers back in the rooms. Malthouse tells the team what the boy from Iraq has been through and that he is a model lesson for all.
Malthouse then pulls the boy aside and says, "Go into my office son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did today".
He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the phone, "Guess what I did today? "I don't care what you did today his Mother replies. "I tell you what happened here today," she goes on. "Your Dad was stabbed, robbed, our house was torched, our car blown up, your sister attacked and your brother abducted."
"Gee," says the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what happened". The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you we would never have shifted to Collingwood!"
Collingwood Cakewalk II | More Funnies
